WHY NOT BEING SELF-CONFIDENT CAN COST YOU, LITERALLY
I don’t know what school you went to, or what culture you come from, or even the type of personality you have. But one thing I do know is that, if you are not able to take decisive action with conviction, you will miss out on a lot of what life has to offer.
For some of you, this may be the first time hearing this. As the co-founder of Dreamerspro and after training over a thousand people for public speaking, I have discovered that the number one thing that holds most of these people back from reaching their potential is a lack of self-belief in their own abilities.
You can’t imagine how many people I have worked with who have missed out on so many opportunities to create relationships, ask questions or pursue jobs that were tailor made for them, but didn’t act out of fear of failing.
My number one commitment to you is to give you tools that can help you get what you want from life. Here are 3 tips that can help you be more confident in your daily life.
1. Set clear practical goals for yourself.
One of the best ways to develop a stronger self-image of yourself is through weekly goal-setting. A tip we always give to our clients is to set short term goals that they can monitor on a daily, hourly basis. The magic of goal-setting is that every time you have a small achievement, it raises your self-esteem because it changes the way to you begin to see yourself. Your confidence is directly correlated to your ability to achieve.
Starting this coming week, write a list of five to ten things that you would like to accomplish during the week. For instance, I normally create a to do list on my mobile device and set a day and time I intend to meet that goal. For example, if I am putting together a workshop that I would like to propose to an academic institution, I generally set different benchmarks that I must meet in order to make my pitch. If I have a week to put together a workshop, by the end of the first two days, I would have researched the organization I am pitching to.
The next two days I will aim to have at least three drafts of my presentation and a contingency in place in case of technical malfunctions. Then I spend the remaining days perfecting and rehearsing my pitch. The beauty of following this method is that every time you check off the goal you intended to reach, your self-image of yourself will quickly begin to change because you will now begin to see yourself as a productive person.
2. Speak to a new person every day.
I can already imagine your reaction after reading the second step. That is perfectly normal because you are already imagining yourself failing or being uncomfortable. Life comes down to moments, and your ability to seize these magical moments will be the difference between a life spent underachieving as opposed to living an outstanding life of self-empowerment.
The truth is most people will not follow my second tip because they do not have enough true incentives to try something that makes them feel uncomfortable. However, the trick to meeting new people is simple if you do not overthink the process.
The easiest way to begin to improve your social skills is to actively seek opportunities to engage with people you would not normally speak to. A great place to meet people is at the local Starbucks or local coffee shop. After you place your order, simply turn over to the person nearest to you and simply say hi and smile. Your job is done. Do not pay attention to their reaction, the only important thing is that you did something that you otherwise thought to be difficult. The next time you are in a similar situation, you will be able to act more intuitively because you have created a positive reference point of yourself.
3. Create a “commands” list.
One of the best ways to improve your self-confidence is by positive self-dialogue. These are the kinds of things that you can say to yourself to pump yourself up in moments of uncertainty and of fear. I recently trained a group of professionals on interviewing skills, and some of them told me that they felt a tremendous amount of anxiety before meeting the interviewer. Remember when I said a lack of self-confidence can cost you, literally?
This is usually where it happens.
So here is a short list of commands you can keep in the back of your mind to use at a moment’s notice.
By quietly repeating these things out loud to yourself, it will allow you to maintain your focus and enable you to succeed when others are uncertain.