HOW TO GET HER TO LIKE YOU WITHOUT TRYING
This topic may seem a bit far off from my usual articles, however I’ve meet a lot of young guys in high school and college who interested in one main thing, girls! After working with hundreds of young people, the guys I talk to that are in college always seem to have questions about how they can meet women and make the best of their chances. I usually grin and tell them it’s simple, be yourself. They always seem let down by my answer.
That’s to be understandable, being ourselves usually leaves us feeling vulnerable, judged and often times misunderstood. After giving this subject much thought, I realized that the thing that a lot of the younger guys I have spoken to have gotten wrong is the way they approach women, and a lot less to do with the women themselves. I have come up with some easy to follow tips that can help any young guy out there reading this make a good impression on a nice young lady if the occasion arises.
1. Understand that the benefits are mutual
This is the first place where a lot of guys go wrong. The typical guy out there that meets a pretty lady tends to feel as if they would be lucky if she gave him the chance to get to know her. That may the true, she may in fact be an awesome lady, however that’s the wrong disposition to have. The reason is because you are coming from a mental state of weakness, instead of self-assuredness. The most charismatic and engaging guys out there are the ones who understand what they bring to the table, then they casually show that to the woman they are speaking with without being self-absorbed or obnoxious.
My advice is this, understand what makes you unique as a young man. Love those things about yourself and appreciate the fact that they make you who you are. The next time you meet a nice young lady, don’t be afraid to show the wonderful qualities you have, and focus less on being judged or impressing her by being someone you are not. The way to impress a woman is to show her that you are comfortable within yourself. This will give her the freedom to open up to you and want to get to know you.
2. Be a bit more observant
A lot of the guys I meet notice the wrong things when it comes to women when they first meet them. Most guys tend to spend too much time admiring her beauty and less on the details about her. Hence, this is the reason why a lot of guys who approach women end up failing on their first attempt. Speaking from my experience, I have been good at noticing the little things about women that helped me generate conversations easily.
For example, I am an observant person by nature, so therefore I notice things about people such as, cloths, perfume, shoes, hairstyles, demeanor etc. I talk about things that I notice about the person, and then I tactfully make tasteful comments on the things I notice about the person.
The reason doing this works is that because people are generally interested in themselves. So, the more I notice about others, the more they will be interested in talking to me. The Dale Carnegie book, How to Win Friends and Influence People teaches this. The next time you are at a coffee shop or wherever, try to go beyond how beautiful you think she looks and make a comment that shows your genuine interest in her. It will show your level of thoughtfulness.
3. You can do better than that
My final bit of advice has to do with the level of creativity guys out there have. Most guys I meet struggle with being original when they meet women at first. The thought process is, if it worked once, it will work forever. This is a mistake. Most guys, including myself from time to time tend to think that all women are the same. They aren’t. No two women are the same, there is something unique about every woman you will meet. Try your best to notice the differences and show them that you noticed them about her.
Women don’t like to be objectified, so don’t make the mistake by thinking you can simply say, “I think you are so hot”, and believe that somehow that that will get her interested in you. The things to remember are this, be yourself, be creative, be observant, be original, respect yourself and things will work out just fine will you meet a nice young lady. Bear in mind that some people will not be into you no matter what you say or do, don’t focus on the rejections.
Focus on all the great people out there that have yet to meet you and be yourself.